Say Good Night to Insomnia

For the last 35 years I've had insomnia. Within the past 15 years I did all sorts of things meant to aid a better night's sleep. I made sure I used the bed only for sleep and sex. I eliminated wheat and caffeine from my diet. I started meditating. Started doing yoga. I've never taken sleeping pills because there are too many hazards involved and I really don't need to add, "break addiction to sleeping pills," to my list of things to do.

I did continue to drink (sometimes to excess) but have more or less ended that habit within the past year.

And yet, the insomnia persisted. What I've come to learn is that I'm a polyphasic sleeper. And (of course) there are people out there who could argue that this is part of my (and our) genetic make up. That for some ungodly reason a person needs to be wide awake in the middle of the night staring at the ceiling. Maybe 2000 years ago I would've thrown another log or two onto the fire. Who knows for sure?

All I know is that until I become a millionaire (and it's coming soon) I have to pay the bills and right now that means that I go to work more or less between 9 am and 5 pm, Monday through Friday. And being up in the middle of the night on work nights, tends to leave me a little muddle headed during the workday. Luckily I'm not a brain surgeon so no one ends up hurt when I'm a little out of if.

Regardless, I'm super irked by the fact that my sleep habit appeared to be all over the map. So I embarked upon what I call, the great sleep re-patterning of 2013.

I bought this book -- Say Good Night to Insomnia.

Now, I'm the sort of person who can be extremely lazy. But I'm also the sort of person who, when I put my mind to it, tends to achieve her goals. I won't get into all the details (you can buy and read the book if you want those). The subtitle is: The 6-Week Program proven more effective than sleeping pills. That's a fairly bold claim. But what's crazy, is this program really is working. Basically I've been tracking my sleep and following the exercises.

For anyone who's ever quit smoking or drinking coffee, you'll know that the first 2 weeks are hell on earth. Really and truly sticking it out is a b*tch. I was all kinds of irritable and crabby. But then I noticed, I was starting to sleep a little better. I realized that I had been in bed for too long. I've started to go to bed at the same time each night; lights out at around 11 pm. And I get up around 7:30. (I think I might even move that to 7 am but why go nuts right now?) Occasionally I still have one horrendous night where I'm up for 2 hours and nothing will send me back to la-la land, so I just deal. But all the other nights -- it's awesome, I sleep.

If you suffer from insomnia, I feel your frustration. Perhaps you'll read the book and follow the program and get some respite.

I realized that if I'm to die young, happy, and rich I have to be able to get a good night's sleep, or else all is lost. I used to feel so out-of-it during the day and I know that had an effect on my ability to make wise decisions. As I get older and head toward my good-death, I know that I want to get the most out of my days and in order to do that I have to be able to sleep well. Besides I partied really hard in my youth so I don't have any regrets on that count.

Mary's Fish Camp

the manager's crazy
he always smokes dust
he's got his own room at the back of the bus

That's the Beastie Boys rapping about Lyor Cohen back in 1985.

This past Friday night, while I waited to be seated at Mary's Fish Camp in the West Village, I turned and there stood Lyor Cohen. Or rather, there loomed Lyor. The dude is really tall, has huge hands, and really nice skin. And once we were all seated inside, for a couple of hours the mean income of the entire place went up a couple million dollars. So. For a little while I was a millionaire. Very nice.

Should I have been shot dead (or died suddenly) at Mary's Fish Camp, I would've died young, happy, and rich.

And I've made up my mind. Once I'm a millionaire you're not going to be able to tell just by looking at me. I'm not going to wear a big clunky watch and expensive loafers. (I will drive a Mclaren but it'll be late at night and I'll be going so fast you're only gonna see a blur.)

Some years ago my brother and I were talking. He's owned BMW cars for a while and he said, "I work hard. I want people to know about it." I thought, "That's so weird. I don't want anyone to know anything about my portfolio or how hard I work. In fact, I could care less what anyone thinks of me." When I die, I plan to leave behind a legacy. There will be several thousand acres of land in preservation. There will be a couple of scholarships at a few universities. I might have a wing at a hospital named after me. But while I'm in my earning years you could be sitting next to me on the subway and you (will hopefully) be none the wiser. So if you see someone wearing a Timex and Keds who looks super young (but with a lot of gray hair), that might be me.

I'll be wishing you good luck and sending prosperity vibes in your direction.

Outliers. So what.

I was lucky enough to receive a reviewer’s copy of What Makes Olga Run?

As you know I’m in the process of seeking out a good death. I want to die young, happy, and rich. I figured reading about a nonagenarian who holds world records on the track and field might offer a few insights.

Instead I feel like I’ve been reading about a woman who has allowed herself to be picked apart by science and a journalist and in the process this has shed no new light on preserving longevity. Don’t get me wrong, the book is well-written and Olga is interesting but if I’m to learn something about ageing, then please teach me something about ageing. We already know that exercise can reset age markers. We know the importance of a good diet and getting proper rest. It doesn’t take a scientist to tell us that (we need them only to spend millions of dollars in studies to prove what we know).

The author refers to Olga as an outlier and I’m wondering what good does it do any of us to scrutinize outliers? Aren’t they so far off the curve that the average person shouldn’t even bother to draw comparisons between him/herself and the outlier?

Olga didn’t do anything particularly different in the way she lived her life, except for the fact that at age 77 she started to attend Masters track meets. She caught a little buzz when she won the first event and the other women went nuts, cheering and congratulating her. She (by her own admission) realized there was something to it and kept going to the meets.

As far as I can tell (and I can only go on what I’ve read about her), Olga was lacking in ambition in almost every way. There were no grand plans. She was just living her life. Is that the take away? That I should just live my life? Perhaps.
 

Aren’t Bill Gates and Oprah Winfrey just living their lives?

Is the real takeaway that we should follow our passions? Bill and Oprah and Olga followed their interests. I don’t know that Oprah knew she’d become a billionaire when she was 7 years old. Once her career started to head in a certain direction she made damn sure it stayed on course and capitalized on it in a big way.

So maybe we’re meant to follow our interests and be true to ourselves. Maybe there is no secret.  

Olga doesn’t subscribe to a particular diet, she gets regular exercise, she’s connected to her community (through church activities), and she doesn’t push herself into injury. She says, “I’ve got nothing to prove.” 

Two other master track stars are Earl Fee and Ed Whitlock.

Earl, author of  Secrets of a Worlds Masters Champion, attributes his success to intensity training.

"All this indicates the importance to staying younger and living longer of regular weight training, frequent stretching, and maintenance of intensity in training," says Earl Fee.

As a minor note, I love that Ed Whitlock (who, at age 81, ran the Toronto marathon in 3:15) has a diet that consists of coffee and grilled cheese. See, there’s nothing useful to me when an outlier eats like that. I’d feel like crap if I drank coffee and ate grilled cheese each day.

It’s back to the drawing board as far as I’m concerned.